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Obstructed by poo.

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Today was a beastly hot day. So me and Mini Michael Phelps headed for the pool. We found our chairs, dumped our gear, slathered on the sunscreen and jumped in. All set for a couple of hours of cooling off and fun.

After we had been in the water for about 10 minutes, I noticed the mom of a couple of toddlers spot something in the water. The look on her face was at first confused, but quickly changed to disgusted.

I watched her walk over to one of the pool staff, bring that staffer over, and point to an element floating in the water.

And she mouthed one simple word.

Poo.

Sure enough, a piece of matter about the size of a thumbnail had been released from someone’s swim diaper.
And the whistles blew. “Everyone out of the pool.” It was obvious that, along with missing children sweeps and CPR training, the staff had drilled for “poo incidents.” I can only wonder what those dry run drills look like. A large fish scoop net appeared from the tool closet, and all staff took their poo retrieval and recovery positions.

As I was calling for MMP to get out of the water, I saw that he had veered and was actually swimming TOWARD the bacterial buoy. And as God is my witness, while I momentarily pondered the potential of his current course, I had only one thought in my head:

“Give me a ping, Vasily. One ping only, please.”

Yes, I know, I’m not a very good parent.

But I did get his attention, and got him to change course and get out of the pool without encountering the offending object.

We waited while the pool staff went all hazmat team on the pool. After 30 minutes of waiting, we decided it would be better if we let the chemical torrent that they unleashed into the pool do its work and kill all forms of life – at least for 24 hours. We will try swimming again tomorrow.

If I were a better parent, I would have seen the disgust instead of the Komedy potential in the situation.

If I were a better pastor, I would use the incident as a teaching metaphor for how sin can defile an entire area and an entire group of people and ruin their afternoon.

But since I am me, I have only been thinking of this all evening:

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About Bill Todd

Bill Todd is a spiritual director and speaker living in Franklin TN. He is patiently loved by Jody Todd, and their children Kaleigh, Hannah, and Liam.

Discussion

8 thoughts on “Obstructed by poo.

  1. Very witty Bill. I love the fact that you can distinguish your many roles (father, pastor, etc.) and that you chose the funniest one. Nice clip!

    Posted by Jeff Sanders | June 18, 2009, 11:10 pm
  2. Very good….very good.

    Posted by Joseph | June 19, 2009, 6:28 am
  3. I love poo season.

    Posted by Joseph | June 19, 2009, 6:28 am
  4. As I was reading the encounter, I was immediately reminded of the same scene from Caddyshack…you’re not the only one! Then I was laughing out loud just watching the clip again. classic!

    Posted by moweezle | June 24, 2009, 5:27 am
  5. I appreciate your literary illustrations (I am sure there is a proper English term for these that officially escapes my brain) ‘bacterial buoy’ made me chortal with glee!

    Posted by T | July 14, 2009, 9:20 pm
  6. comment test

    Posted by Bill Todd | February 24, 2011, 1:04 pm

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